lovemyday

Hi,

Its my first off after first roaster.
Good news from around. UNAMID peacekeepers are still there, even though fighting has started. Its odd, BBC is no longer covering it, so my information level has reduced a bit.
But i do know, this time it will be better and people will be somewhat safer.

My country is due for elections, so somebody is again going to get represent something that nobody out there knows about. But it will happen anyways. The only thing that it will help the country is: the huge spending that will be on during this time, it may help up the expenditure level of the country, improving the figures. It means we don’t need a war like gaza to boost our economy. It will be done with lesser bloodshed.
The worm causing the catastrophe in liberia has been identified. So the storm can now be controlled properly. The power deal in zimbabwae is now official: start the work people!..you have got a lot to do.
Obama has have had really too many setbacks this weak- its ok! it happens all the time, anytime better then yesterday.

Hari’s wife got sick. Extremely sick. I think she will have to move to hari’s paternal home. This is one thing that is over here with us guys, if anyone get’s in trouble, he has to call on back home for help. God knows what will happen to me when such thing comes to me.
Anyways, so he was on leave. And! well that meant i was incharge for the whole roaster. I don’t how you feel but running a terminal team is easier then running an govt or a family. For one thing everyone you are guiding is highly experienced they already know everything. So you only have to do paperwork and scheduling, guide small workshop teams and act fresh whole night. for three days, i was a bit disappointed by myself. Last day, i decided to go out and do the work, nothing, i went out with the fabrication team and sent the helper with the engineer and there i was helping out, when my time over there ran out, i found some more cleaning work for me. And it went out good too, It- in short meant, i had a bit of warm up with heavy duty equipment and lifting belts and ladders. It went good.

The shift went ok. Everything has gone ok till now. No calls from mahesh. I am relived & i have had a bad lunch. I ate something kind of onion vegi. just gulped it over with water and buttermilk.

….Only one thing odd- tomorrow is sunday, it means i won’t be able to write tomorrow. No net. But i think i will survive.
……..Apurva

Hi,

First the best news: UNAMID stationed at mujahiri have decided to stay back amid certainity of heavy fighting. The moment i had read the news of them being asked out. Only thing that i could imagine was the repeat of Uganda 1994. I can do nothing more and i did it best- prayed to god. For me sitting here- the clashes have no direct impact. Yet i find it difficult to accept the victory of oil over blood.

Then the bad news: For consecutively two days, i was the shift incharge of the mech team, i did it good from my point of work, but both the times i have been deep eyed by my assistant manager for improper and incomplete paper work. Yeah, i can say- it’s an experience. ok! But i do know, today, hari will be back from training and today he has been scolded for the improper training that he has given to me.

Two things scare me the most :he will be angry a lot. And i know that there is a whole lot of paper work pending, which his senior has been pushing for me to take up.
It could mean that i will be working on a computer for the rest of my two night shifts and may be more.(I pray there emerges out some fabrication work, i would prefer that over the computer screen)

OK, so what is it that i did for the two days i was incharge????
It was something that everybody on my team was regretting and my AM rejoicing. CLEANING.

CLEANING: IS A COMPULSORY ACTIVITY WHICH IF HAS NOT BEEN DONE SINCE ETERNITY MAKES THE YARD CLEAN AND THE CLEANERS DIRTY.

But that is what my team did. I did it to. I don’t exactly know whome of us liked or disliked it.( i don’t store such feelings in my memory).
The highlights:
My brand new fork lift: 3T ACE. was used to its full for both the days, and as i have said it is beautiful and with its fork at a height of 3 meters. It looks cute.(I know the kalmar fork lifts-40 tones are also great- but short ladies have their own charm, that too if they are yellow bodied with black front and a nice double slide mechanism).
We lifted and arranged nearly everything that was in sight. and found several things which were not in sight arranged them all too.

I think this was good, for the cleaning that we have done, i am ready for any kind of scolding from anyone. I am ready to take any words from my collegues.
Several are wooing the work that i have done “Waste”. But i know this is one thing that will be boosting a lot in performance- guys don’t understand the basics of work they are senior to me, but i have found that they only tend to do their work and ask for salaries and promotions and stuff around that.

I am happy, now several things are more arranged and accessble. Whereever i have left i know it may not proceed ahead and my improper paperwork will be adding to bad words about my workstyle. I could not garnish the time to see what actually my men had accomplished. Due to the corrections in paper work i was doing or will be doing tonight, but when i get free from it, i would seriously take a look at it. and will surely let you know.

With Regards,
Apurva

Hi,

So January is out. Today is february the second. Good news: Well in zimbabwe MDC and mugabe have both agreed to share power. More good news, now russian church has a leader. Better news: Obama is not only sounding confident in his words about world reforms. Even better news: Bolivians are cheering great with their new constitution proposal. Importent news: markets are going up, slowly. More importent News: I heard IMF chief on BBC: economies with start picking up by later half of the year.

My news: Santa Clause has shifted to my village. Hurrey. Well some of you may not agree, or several may disagree but i think it is true.
Yesterday, was my off, and i left for town, instead of falling asleep did purchase, and went to bus stop to catch my bus back home
I WAS SITTING THERE, SIPPING TEA & I SAW A MAN IN PURPLE ON THE ROOF OF NEXT HOUSE WITH A LONG WHITE BEARD!!!. You will say what in the world: But you see i could feel that it was santa clause.
Reason- one, he looked fat with a 39 inch tummy, he was wearing purple clothes.(No red: may be because it is not christmas).
Two, He had a shiny beard.
Third- i saw two eagles with white wing base flying up there. Now an eagle is a different story here, you are only expected to see vultures in this region, which are nearly extinct. Eagles are not the story of the area.

Its a good sign for me: for at least i am happy.
Yesterday, was a wierd day for me, i was searching net on my phone for some stuff. I could not find it and fell asleep.

Today when i woke up, i just checked the phone- it had an article opened up on it, it was about saint antony. ( i was searching for fire egypt). lets be accurate, before today, the only saint i had ever heard of was saint valentine. The so and so name was nothing for me. But i did got to read about him. I thank god for it.

Yesterday was a good night too, i got to see MI 1. And i had dreams.
Office was a little bad, i was given office work, which i dislike a lot. I was actually detained by hari for both nights, reason i could not understand
I seriously don’t understand-
He detained me for both nights, that means i was not allowed to work on equipments, but was assigned fabrication work, i was welding, grinding, i was fitting parts. I was doing SAP work, but no equipments. I think it was coz, on my second day, i forget to log the teams on work in the log book.
He knows, i am addicted to cranes. I was furious, i was angry. And hari is a good person, so both days- i was not there on equipments but to tell you what: he brought home made food for me.
His wife cooked for me, he brought dinner exclusively for me both the nights. He said, i have had my dinner at home, this one you have.
Why in the world did you bring it then, if you ain’t not going to eat it, then why in the world does your wife cook it???
Fine i will ask her not to make next time, is that ok.
I took the bag-” I don’t mean i wont eat it, or will not eat it if you do bring it again. I just don’t understand” And the food smells great.

And he left for office, i for canteen.
SANTA: is a 5 letter word before 5 comes 4. I think before “santa” a man must learn the word : “love”.

Why do people take pain for others. It is unknown thing for me. I do take pain for machines, coz that makes maintainence easy. This thing about people, is like reading theology for me. I don’t understand..
But i am deeply touched. I did had also hurt my finger day before yesterday. Hari knows it. no body else knows it. It will leave a mark.

Just picked up the biography of AL Pacino: Third page: The wanderwall’s grand son said” Life is always on the wires - rest is just waiting”. I was hurt badly: not only by the wound, but also due to the courtesy showed to me by hari, i was hurt badly, for again i realized that day, i am alone- i don’t even know what is the difference between me and the equipment. We both hold no language, untill its a break down.

Mr. SANTA, i need to learn, what exactly does word, love means. How can i help build toys if i don’t understand which part is most importent for the child.
….I will be back to office tomorrow..
….Apurva

Dear all,

One more chapter has come to an end. I need to learn more that has been turned certain, My last post may be, could be bit confusing, but it does resembles how my mind is functioning. It means i am about to make changes in my thinking patterns and actions.
Anyways good news i heard yesterday: Zimbabwe is heading towards a new mixed govt. Good for the people out there. The figure of cholera is drastic, quick is also slow.
May god help them all. Also the worm storm in liberia is also a cool news.

One more news that pulled my attension was: new constitution of bolivia. May whatever anyone say, their president is a hero. Evo morales is an hero to the new, young world. How can one ignore- no country can grow better intill it includes it’s own blood. It’s own man have more freedom at their homeland.

Like always, santa doctors a bit late for zimbabwe, may be an air patrol has seized his sledge before he could reach africa. I think we need to have a new international aviation policy, else flying sledges have to declared immune to national aviation boundries. Second solution would be for the dragons to give him anti radar protection. Do you think, a dragon skin absords signals or reflects them. i don’t know.

But under every condition, 60 thousand sick from colera! its a shame. Its a shame for anybody who cares for his own children. People getting sick only because the place could not be cleaned & people dying because of it. God’s Sake!

Do you think! witches broom will be a better option. You know they are small, can not be detected on radar, will reach there without getting shot, and IT IS A BROOM! A MAGIC BROOM. Better!! if you have to clean up a whole country. Does anybody has a card to anyone of them. Its a good option!!

…With Regards,
Apurva

Forget it. I don’t think so. But i do have to all the time. Well that is the feeling i suffer from. Anybody from transectional analysis section if reads this. Please do tell me.
More and more of myself i find trying to defeat a parent inside me which is against logis of a adult.

I did had a good time last week. It started with me attending the breakdowns. Well it was great. It went or right at the office all the time. I kept on getting on work at the office. Repairing more and more of machines. I am growing faster in speed and logic. I can now use a spanner better and faster and effectively. Correct to tell you. I am finding tightening screws a lot better then tightening up the people.

A machine has always been a better support as it does not go in the complex logic of undone last experiences and half facts.

Tell you what, I had learned this a bit back from one of my HODs. The thing that makes us different from others is differencial thinking. Well it is a good word. I liked it then. I did not think much about it but liked it. Actually i do understand the intensity with which he had said it. Tell you more, he is correct.

What i am more concered about is- the word of the another one- it was said then than the world is getting smaller, that is flat, i am still trying to understand what he meant, but i do remember him saying that very soon it will not be corporation but will be individuals who will have a go on the things, he is a senior person, i mean it is diffucult to understand what he said. they think too fast, faster then me, but i am trying, and yes sorry for the storm yesterday. I hope things get better in your area asap. have a great day. See you all.

….Apurva

Hi,

I did had a good mood of writing today, if you wish to read it do visit
http://aday.rediffiland.com/blogs/2009/01/27/1-day-after-Republic-1.html
(The article is about India)

Its a post of being Indian. Yesterday was our republic day. The day we declared us not only independent but responsible for the land and people. I think we all have missed one thing Land and people have been seperated from nature. Who are we, I know whatever i write, there will always be a way of achieving a goal against it. Yes that is what is called as life. Everything is possible.

This week my day was a better one at the office, i had work, i had physical work, i was allowed to be on ground for all the time. If you have gone through my last post, you know i am changing now, I had dreamt of huge machines, i am with them. But why i do not have peace. I still do not understand.

I did once again went through ” i have seen the promised land”. A new feeling has arose-something is missing.
I read a book - In it shaman’s of amazon said to auther(its a non fiction book) that you have dreamt the wrong world. Change your dream. Both of these keep on shocking my head.

I mean my words, I have lost even the last peace that i had. If i am not there with the machines. I am in pain. If i am not cleaning a pump, i am in pain.

I plan to have a meeting with santa and suko, Ajenda will be- how can we coexist with land. He may say- i know only the kids, but now he is a team leader. That means, children in amazon, bolivia, chille, kenya, are also a part of his portfolio. We need that answer. I don’t think a boy living in montains and loving rock climbing needs a barbie.

I am starting to think, but i need to think in correct direction.

Apurva

Well change is in the air. The times are getting tougher for for everybody. I too am starting to feel the heat. You know being a small technician and trying to understand the real thing around is a difficult. It is just like looking at moon with eyes and with a telescope. I though know and read and write about the financial conditions, now understand that what i feel and have understood is like: looking at moon with naked eyes. Need of a telescope has being felt.

I just had a chance to listen to “a big guy around”, yesterday, mixing it up with the data i already have- this is the conclusion i drew:

the world is bigger then i have known.
What am i doing for this world till now is very small.
There are men who do things which i don’t even know of.
There are things in this world which happen/ are done- and i don’t even have slightest idea of them.
I mean why anyways are some guys paid a 100 times more money then me. I mean i don’t feel my income is less, but there is something very importent role that these guys play in this world and i am not doing it. I need to do them.

Anyways: highlights of the time.
I got to see a beautiful hydraulic block assembled it was having some really beautiful flow control valves and pressure relief valves fitted: these things are precious. Also it had a small, only 1 cm long- check valve it was about 7mm in diameter. Salute to those who make such valve.

Day before yesterday, somebody parked a JCB machine in the parking lot,i went there to feel it ” it was awsome”, ” it was beautiful”. Yesterday, it was not there. I felt lonely.

I am starting to loose too many things now a days, its a good thing, a bood said, now i am learning, it means i am alive. Children are a good thing.

I just went through a page i had written way back it titled” suko teaches Adolf to paint”
It raised a nice smile on my face.

I got a challenge from a collegue” reduce your tummy flat -time limit. I have still not responded.

During visit yesterday, my head of services caught an eye to a spreader, it was looking good from outside, but was not clean from inside, he was not happy with me, coz may be he thinks i am the clean man.
But it was a boost to my clean up mission. Too many seniors object to my mission to clean up all the equipments and there accessable parts. I try to convince them it will help reduce maintainence and break down repair time, they consider it over work and unnecessary. I do atleast know that the work i do is importent.

That is it for today, i want to write more and more, but i can go on.

Apurva

It is really hard to train a technician, take my word, I tried yesterday, i tried- they slept- then they went of to work and finally i lost my mind so much- i annoyed my boss, by doing exactly what he had asked me to do in a manner that he had to do it again.

I was training my technicians for Risk accessment at sight. Actually hari was also there and i found he knew about the topic more then me, off course he is more mature then me, no doubt- but what in the world does maturity had to do with having correct sequence!! It has i could feel that yesterday, when i was speaking, they were sleeping, when he was speaking they were listening. And when everything was over i was sleepy.

I had to remain on ground yesterday, i did went with him to attend a minor breakdown. But that was it, i had to stay on ground…why??? I tried to train some guys regarding safety and made everyone sleepy. It is wierd. But it was what happened. It happened correct. But it happened.

There are always good times and bad times. day before yesterday “i was on the top of the world, one RTG PM, one Kalmar Repair, one DG repair, one elevator repair. One great lacture, one great trial a new way of PM tried, safer, better, and faster.

Yesterday!!! The planning squad was the vilion. Will somebody explain to me why did they had to take the same equipment which we wanted to do maintainence. I was angry on them till 0400hrs. But then the moment we had it back, the electrical team did a power shutdown for DG trial. Huh!

Yesterday night was torture for me. I realized my limitations. I realized that i still have to learn more from everybody.
Only good news to hit the stand was- the ceasefire in gaza strip. Heard on BBC both sides decided to pull back. Its good, it was actually importent for me, coz - today when i looked back on my day, i was a little sad and angry, but still i had one thing to thank the god for- the cease fire.

Life is wierd. frankly telling you, i am starting to feel more wierd. Mumbai marathon was finished just fine( i was not there). I love running. I decided to practive regularly.
I have already planned to win the pune marathon this year, i know 11 months is a long term commitment, but have made it. Aiming at a time of 2:10, i know i have still not been able to finish a marathon. But this is it that i am going to do.

Today Mr. Obama will be taking oath. I think its a big day for americans. But i think it is also an importent day, a man too serious about Linchon, is someone i am serious about, and if says he is going to follow on Linchon’s steps. Then let me tell you, we do are looking at a different world, one think i am dreaming too. Some of you may be understand what i mean & If you did not- don’t press your head, it was not meant for you.

I had to go to office today for some work, got to check my plant from a faraway location. Whole plant was there in front of my eyes. It is huge, i too have planned for the same. But just don’t understand, how.
Its a question!! i like my question.

…………………………….Apurva

Dear Zim,

I was really afraid of your fire yesterday, It was hard why would it not burn me if i came to you without a fire shield and an fire extinguisher.
I was really stubborn of me to think that you will call me for dinner with an intension of frying me and eating me up. I am sorry for the same.

You laugh really good, infact i must admit you have been a good friend to me. I really love when you talk about suko and her child friends, the news of santa getting promoted as trainer to the new “world squad of childs and smiles” is a really good news. It makes me smile with cheese when i try to imagine santa running in front with all the dragons, elephants, fairies all singing their child songs in all their languages. Mr whodo may not like it, but kids will love it. I am sure for that.

I too am trying my best to get out of my daily schedules and give some time to your work. But sometimes find myself trapped in the game of what goes on in Gaza and Sudan.

Really, children have great power, since day before yerterday i was trapped by a child i had to play with him and give up my unwinning quest of winning a batminton game against good players. And well he even did not let me exercise on the jogger. I think he was assigned to damage it parmanently, it could feel it but he did not succeed.
Though he did succeed in- making me clean up my un-cleanable room and make it look sitable. I did succeeded in loosing him afterwards, but it was of no use, i still lost all the games with my bosses friend” Who surely must have labeled me as a lazy man”. He is old enough to forget the facts of adulthood.

Anyways, I could not believe that i really wrote a good poem afterwards. And it did felt great. I had some intution thing going on in my head today, coz i went all the way across to the town to catch a bus timed at 1130 hrs which again brought me back to my colony faster then i had reached the town. Well, but my intution was right, i did met the girl. But i could not find a reason to talk with her. I am a shy person. I tried to find a reason to talk but found myseld speaking about my torn off pant. Which somehow got torn off while i tried to move to the third seat in the row.

I did ask her- if i could help her taking her bagage, but she sincerely denied. It was hard on heart but i did took it, i think doing situps helps you to let go of pain. Anyway now i don’t think i will ask her again(Should I ??). I will back to my office tomorrow, loving the same machines, though i am starting to feel a call from inside when find myself passing of from that garden again-n-again and trying to find a reason to break my leg or something in such a way that i can visit the hospital but still stay out of trouble from office. My wont tolarate any accidents at office and it is very difficult to find a place outside to break a leg, that to in such a fashion that i am not detained from going to site while i am hurt.

Its difficult to love a nurse if you are an field engineer already in love with your machines..
Anyways thankyou for the dinner yesterday. And Say my thanks to suko for accepting the offer. The gear for santa, i think must be in progress, i know it is very difficult with the melting glaciers at noth pole but i know we will manage somehow.

With love and smiles,
Apurva

26 makes up one marthon. 26 miles that is. Mind- the limit is in microns. Its 1512 exact match with the number. I will be walking out within minutes for a 120 minute trial.

I love my freedom to run, freedom to word on machines. I have broken the familiar borders. Its makes me alone. It has left me me out of help. I have lived a long time denying the fact. Precious time wasted. I am alone. Mentally, physically emotionally also socially.

Yesterday was a day of heavy cold. I tried to work my way through. I did it but with failures. I had to accept the silence after the failure. I kept body under restrain but brain gave away to faults. I could just not accept the regular data provided by my parents & society. Actually i have shunted it from getting processed directly. It has created a new challenge, the basic daily decisions, acts are also questioned. Since i lack the decipline, i go down the drain.

Things did not look bright to me yesterday night. It was freezing when i went up there at o400 hrs to operate the crane. I could start feeling that i have grown weaker.
And it was hurting- BADLY.

Yesterday my adult got weaker due to accessive cold and found myself helpless, parent nearly shunted, child free to decide as adult weakened and i gave away to a failure in my actions and behaviors.

The only solution that i decided on was to increase the decipline level in my daily life.
Keeping my room clean, keeping my daily schedule regularized, now immediate issue is who can i do it. I will tell you! i have tried to do it since a long time, but have always failed miserably, frankly the failures were the reason why i had to shunt my parent from functioning directly(actually i am still trying). But it feels like i need to learn the way, the decipline but still i am not giving way to the tradition ways taught to us everywhere. I look forward to new ways. Chienese and Japanese concepts have always been a great asset for nature. Indian ways where did they got lost i don’t know. But that is what i am looking way forward for.

I tried basic kung fu for some time, to decipline my body, but unfortunately the site i was reffering has reorganized itself, erasing the pages related with training.
Answers awaited….

….Apurva