lovemyday

Hi,

Read a little of “The bridge across forever”. A bit about- Grid theory, little about a ship which desappered back in feb, then a few lines from another book.I liked them all, they love me too, we know each other, they make be smile, loved the time. I didn’t think much about the room. I just fell to sleep( My terrace door open).

It was yesterday night. Today! well i could see the effect of open door. I woke up at 0600 Hrs. It was cold, I thought may be i am cold, may be a fever. I again fell back to sleep, only to realize i will again have to race against minutes.

Its wierd! But i can bath and get fresh within a few minutes. I did so. Its not too different from my life but the one dangerous thing that generally happens to me due to this is, i don’t get to have my morning tea. It means i will be thinking a lot, whole day on a lot many things. ( Tea is the magic potion that transits me from one life to another). I will be living two lives today whole day.

Thank to God! today is sunday, that means none of the managers will be there from any of the departments. All the cocks and dogs will at least, not be on my site. But today is last month of the day, it means minimum field work today, we are fast creatures, we work so fast that by the time month ends, we have already finished everything. Well it just means, we will be doing, paperwork. I don’t like it too much.

I was not ready to start work today. I was a little scared and not ok. The seas were more violent then yesterday. There was no sun whole day, and it was cold. i did not anticipate it, what i did not anticipate, we will not be doing any new crane maintainence, only an STP!! that means i will be repairing a couple of pumps and blowers and pipelines.
“No! you are just supposed to guide the guys”.
You go and get the readings for the day.

It meant i was now climbing over 12 monsters whole day and taking reading! Just taking readings.( Not actually! i took only 2 hrs to do the job, i had been doing it for last odd 5 months), Plus i was supposed to guide 2 more technicians for doing maintainence of engine platforms.

OK, i will do it.

I did it, but i was not in my head. I just had no head at my place. I did all that was told but i did it slow.

I felt, i should be asking for half day today.
” you are already taking one since wednesday”
“You have survived a leave longer then 2 days”
” that too when you were travelling for 1 whole day” I was laughing and little frustrated.

They were right, i find myself struggling for life among masses or at home.
Why am i so upset today? I am in a very bad mood. Not able to work.

Dada used to say-”you are lazy”
Krups -you just go back to work, don’t waste my time again.

Sla - It happens to me too.
Mukesh -You are wierd, that’s why.

I was not relieved. I wanted the day to end and go back to my room and hide. I didn’t ask for a leave.
Hari is watching. Yesterday, you misarranged the docs. Its not good you know.
Huh! I am sorry, let me correct it.
I am submerged in a squad of files correcting what i did wrong.

Then again, i am feeling bad. I just can’t work. I tried to connect to internet, bad connection.

A squad of VVIP cars starts making enterance in our plant, get a call from a fellow, come out. there are VIPs visiting.
I come out, watch a full buzz of vehicles passing me by.

Who are they!
Collector, Police officers, Navy officials, MPs, port security officers.
Inspecting now! i start grinning, a black car with a navy dress crosses over.

Militants blow up mumbai. And now they start thinking.

You are not wearing your helmet!
I am only outside cabin.
No excuse right now!
Oops? i go back and get it on. In time, last one of safety. I give a smile to parmar.
The area is silent again.

Tried to help in doing today’s Work logs. Messed it up a bit, but finished it up.
My handover had only some handshakes and i was ready to return back home.

I ask Ajay-anything new about the blasts.
Union home minister has resigned.
Sieze is over.

Bus starts moving.
Hari is not there, I say stop. Somebody said- Go.
He stops after a 50 meters or so, i find hari running for the bus.

Whats the hurry, huh?
I was at the bottom of my hearts- everyone wants to go back home.

How do you except jaydeep to work if i don’t hand him over properly.
I kick my senses up and realize that he has been frustrated due to my behavior today and yesterday, whole day. And he is hiding- how furious he is.

I settle down-tried to stop him!
Nobody listens. Bus moves over. I am on the height of depression, God! don’t declare me a failure again.

Would you like to read the news.
A smile- let’s see.

I try to switch on NDTV, connection fails with the OK button in front. 5 minutes. I try to switch on BBC. We start reading.

Can you really read so fast!
Huh! what! I am sorry. You can read it, hari. I really didn’t realize.

I am back to my room, do a little practice. Dinner. And by luck i am late! and a guy is watching “Behind Enemy lines”. Its english atleast!

I come back take presleep snacks, I think its ok to have a bad day. I need to make it good. Nigeria there are 200 dead by now. Riots are said to be over but unofficial sources say, hundreds have died.

Its thundering out in the skies. Its raining. Winds are high. I tell my ghosts. I understand you, i know i am in trouble, understand what you are suggesting. But you know what pops! Freedom. I still have it.

I decide to stay up for the night, doze to sleep.

Hi,

I generally don’t get to get online everyday. But its good, for anytime i get is worth the cost.
The effect of mumbai tragedy has subsided from newspapers. But the effect is still on.

Yesterday, I and Haribhai(My Incharge) were tackeling an accumulator. It had a huge bladder inside it which was to be filled with Nitrogen. It smells wierd. But anyways we emptied it. It was going to take about 2 hrs to complete discharge it. Thank God! a spreader brokedown on one of the machines. Well! the time went of well, moving gear, fixing deshackels, moving slings, removing older one from head block. attaching new one. Ones it was fixed and it was being tested, I just took a look at the sea. It was growing violent.

I could not wait for myself to attach myself with the net and to get the recent news on the blasts. Its really wierd, how and why people like to kill others for business. Can we not, just do some other job?

Anyways we moved back to workshop, accumulator was discharged. I looked at the parts of old one. It has a very piculiar arrangment. If you want to take out the connection in between you have to put in both your hands, hole is just 2 inches in diameter! and then turn the sleeve upside down then fold it and take it out. It works as a seal. But the valve fitted!! Its beautiful. The touching surface was point smooth. And the inner side of the whole body, marvellous. I loved looking at it and staring inside. Little emberresing for my fellow men(I had the spare with me till the shift was over!!). It was georgious.

The day at the office was over the moment i boarded the bus. I switched on the news.
Sieze was over. Stories were there on news about the Heros from NSG. BBC by now had switched over to Nigerian riots. Weather was OK, I could still get back and have a bath before dinner.

I had my dinner. It was something tasty, i over ate. Everyone around me was watching news, INdIA TV/NDTV/AAj Tak and something else. I was just thinking of my room. I cleaned it just yesterday eve and had ruined it in the morning trying to reach on time. Should i be cleaning it? I don’t know, may be not. I have never understood discipline. Others in this world do. Better men then me! What anyways are they doing. Watching news or blowing buildings?.

I just don’t know. I am tired. I will need to take my sleep. And not be late tomorrow.

I am a simple mechanic. But a mechanic who love the winds, who loves the lands and the seas. If you love a woman, it is simpler then loving the skies. But what if your love with the skies, gets mixed with your daily life. I struggle everday to understand what i am, considering every option of truth, sickness, life, daydream. Thoughts & reality I live them both. I love them both. Haunted and loved, I survive with the love for the machines and love for the god who has always smiled when i needed him, a father, a friend, a love.

Hi,

Just finised my day at office by 0800 hrs, yesterday. Heard of the attack on mumbai. I live a thousand miles away. I am still in India. Always hoped can live away from the world with my machines. Always felt, i can survive out with my machines.

Day before yesterday, again, i decided to live without a look at those clouds, without that strange look at the stars and feel of that wind. “Tears are not, what can define my sorrow.”

“There’s no hiding.”
I decided to live a long way back. I decided to be away a long back. The cost is heavy.
Yesterday, I closed my eyes, sat on my bed.
“God! I will not turn my back nomore.”

Some man are given a life, some man have to make one. I am a man, who has been given a life, and has to make one too. May the God be with us forever.There is no running, there is no hiding. I am Apurva.

Smilie with the clouds,
Smile with ‘em all.

Live with those stars,
sorrow with ‘em all.

Fate if, is it, what calls,
Let it be so.

Just don’t forget,
Life, it is, which never falls.

……………..Apurva