Jan 08 2009
Microns & Miles
26 makes up one marthon. 26 miles that is. Mind- the limit is in microns. Its 1512 exact match with the number. I will be walking out within minutes for a 120 minute trial.
I love my freedom to run, freedom to word on machines. I have broken the familiar borders. Its makes me alone. It has left me me out of help. I have lived a long time denying the fact. Precious time wasted. I am alone. Mentally, physically emotionally also socially.
Yesterday was a day of heavy cold. I tried to work my way through. I did it but with failures. I had to accept the silence after the failure. I kept body under restrain but brain gave away to faults. I could just not accept the regular data provided by my parents & society. Actually i have shunted it from getting processed directly. It has created a new challenge, the basic daily decisions, acts are also questioned. Since i lack the decipline, i go down the drain.
Things did not look bright to me yesterday night. It was freezing when i went up there at o400 hrs to operate the crane. I could start feeling that i have grown weaker.
And it was hurting- BADLY.
Yesterday my adult got weaker due to accessive cold and found myself helpless, parent nearly shunted, child free to decide as adult weakened and i gave away to a failure in my actions and behaviors.
The only solution that i decided on was to increase the decipline level in my daily life.
Keeping my room clean, keeping my daily schedule regularized, now immediate issue is who can i do it. I will tell you! i have tried to do it since a long time, but have always failed miserably, frankly the failures were the reason why i had to shunt my parent from functioning directly(actually i am still trying). But it feels like i need to learn the way, the decipline but still i am not giving way to the tradition ways taught to us everywhere. I look forward to new ways. Chienese and Japanese concepts have always been a great asset for nature. Indian ways where did they got lost i don’t know. But that is what i am looking way forward for.
I tried basic kung fu for some time, to decipline my body, but unfortunately the site i was reffering has reorganized itself, erasing the pages related with training.
Answers awaited….
….Apurva
